Can't sleep. I roll over at 3:30 to Alex's elbow in my face. At some point she decided to join me in bed. The fan is ticking, mainly because I have it on high and its old and the metal string meets the bulb 1,000 miles per hour. I take sip of water from my trusty water bottle beside my bed, And.....my stomach growls. Ugh! Could be bad pizza, or the fact I barely ate dinner trying to get their behinds in bed. I'll just lay here and scroll through my phone and see what everyone is up to. Next thing I know its 4am. I cut my phone off and I have this overwhelming urge to pray...then comes the overwhelming need to blog. I'm like really God? (yes i questioned him) I have to be up in 2 hours and i'm exhausted. Then he reminds me of my prayer to him. Break my heart for what breaks yours and remove anything from my life that is a distraction from you. My reply, Oh yes...I did say that. I could have just rolled over and ignored the urge and went back to sleep. I have done that many times. God speaks when you least expect it. He chooses the unexpected at unexpected times to do unexplainable things. So I sit up. Wipe the sleepy the best i can. Walk into the living room, there is Coop on the couch with 5 blankets. He found his way in there at some point. Still hungry, I remember I had a half of a container of hamburger helper. So what does any normal mother do at 4am when she is hungry? She pops that sucker in the microwave. I grabbed my fork...poured myself some Dr. Perky (don't judge, i'm working on it ) and waited. Stopping the microwave before I beeps so I wont wake baby bear Coop. Made my way to the couch, I sit down at the end, just enough room. Coops little foot fits right on top of my leg.
My heart is broken. I need God now more then ever. So many things going on in my life and just the overwhelming feeling of uncertainty. God placed blogging on my heart many years ago. I didn't listen. I wanted break through, I wanted growth and the whole time I knew. God placed a story with in me to share. I don't know why, but it is so. You have a calling. It could be those amazing cupcakes you bake that believe it or not is a gift. Trust me I know, mine taste similar to bricks. The way you care for children, or clean homes. You know, because he has placed that desire in your heart. You are telling yourself that it will never happen. I'm here to tell you, if he can speak this world into existence, part the waters, number the hairs on your head, raise the dead to life he can do a work in YOU! He is breathing new life into you. Allow him to. The winds of change are blowing. I too am at a place of uncertainty. Asking why and how could you use me?
Romans 12: 3 For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you. 4 For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, 5 so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. 6 We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your faith; 7 if it is serving, then serve; if it is teaching, then teach; 8 if it is to encourage, then give encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously; if it is to lead, do it diligently; if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully.
Step out today and allow God to use you in a might way.
Love to you all
Comments